Food Me Once, Shame On Me… # 7

Hello and welcome to another edition of Food Me Once… with your favorite foodist, Chef Benny LaLingua! I’m writing to you from the beautiful and seasonally confusing city of San Diego, where the Halloween buzz is in full swing, despite the warm, sunny setting. This week, I’ll be covering sinister sweets for trick-or-treats because, as we all know, Halloween is the one time of year that we won’t be chided for hoarding buckets of candy.

I hoard therefore I am.

As many of us may remember from our years of trick-or-treating, there is a euphoric sense of triumph at being given a delicious and fanciful treat, and a crushing disappointment upon receiving say, loose peanuts haphazardly dropped into your pale (I’m talking to you, Mrs. Sterling… Oh, I remember). But how are we to know what young goblins and ghouls are pining for? Enter the smorgasbord, or as I like to call it, The Haunted Hodgepodge! Imagine the delight of reaching your grubby, greasepaint laden fingers into this collection of confections! Just keep a few napkins handy to wipe down the remaining candy before the next group shows  up.

Choose wisely…

Another suggestion for late night indigestion is to think outside the box, or outside the coffin, as the case may be! Distinguish your house from all the others by going the extra mile for your vile visitors. “Mr. Bones” Halloween candy offers much more than stale, uniformly flavored candy with a macabre bent…

Grave desecration never looked so yummy!

In addition to the colorful coffin that doubles for a cursed-coin-purse, this skeletal snack is also a jig-saw puzzle! Hundreds of sticky, candy-coated fingers will all point to your house when asked, “where did you get that awesome, unique, and thoughtful treat? And do you need a wet-nap?”

Anatomically correct… and delicious!

If you’re feeling limited by the confines of the candy demand, take heart! Chef Benny LaLingua is here to broaden your haunted horizons! Below are cookies with a crunchy, baked exterior that are colorful and delicious in and of themselves, but it’s the secrets they keep that young Halloweeners will be talking about! One bite from beyond the grave and out spills a handful of candy creepers! Tombstone cookies full of sweetened critters, pumpkins housing a cornucopia of multi-colored munchies, and ghosts unable to cross over to the other side because they have unfinished business on Earth… to erupt ghastly delights!

Gross national product, indeed…

A slightly more sophisticated snack, these white and dark chocolate charnel-ground goodies are a perfect offering for the occasional adult unable to let go of such a tasty tradition. Why let the little ones have all the fun? Your Haunted House will be the talk of the town among adults and children alike with a varied and thoughtful selection of gourmet grabs!

Tastelessly tasty!

But, lest you think I, Chef Benny LaLingua, am above the nostalgic need to nosh, I must include candy corn in this list. For no matter how exciting and eclectic your offerings are, it simply wouldn’t seem like Halloween without a mouthful of flavored wax.

Mmmm, candles.

So this Halloween, don’t be afraid to spruce up your seasonal sacrifices. Ghouls, goblins, zombies, and many a Miley Cyrus will remember your haunt as the place where the Undead ate like the living!

Images via: here, herehere, and here

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