Wednesday Every Wednesday # 11

When the screws of the workweek begin to tighten; when the elastic in your dress socks incites a small riot of itchiness on your calves; when you can barely contain your excitement for the weekend, becoming the picture of antsiness…

That’s one way to ruin a picnic…

It’s Wednesday!!!

As the sands of time irritate the soft flesh of impatience, we pause from our relentless trek through tedium and reflect on how far we’ve come.

“Run, Friday, RUN!!!”

But the balancing forces of nature, battling stealthily behind the scenes, are always hard at work. Even as I write this, the Calico Cat of quietude wages war with the Polar Vortex of Vexation!

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By the Power of Gray Cat!

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Editorial: Polar Vortex Ridiculed Early, Freezes Everyone’s Face Shut

Without warning, with nary a moment’s notice, it was too late.

We. Woke. Up. Cold.

In 3 degree weather, no one can hear your freeze…

Science has termed this frigid phenomena the Polar Vortex, which I’m assuming means that a wormhole to deep space has opened in the North Pole, sucking all the oxygen and heat off of Earth.

Would you like a hot cocoa?

Clips from Jake Gyllenhaal’s troubling nature documentary, “The Day After Tomorrow,” reveal that we’ve known of this phenomena for quite some time.

The calm eye of the wormhole.

All across the interwebs, reports are coming in about record lows, cassette tape numbers, and 8-track temps. The question everyone’s asking: “Is climate change?”

Well… IS?

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Monday Miasma # 16

Ah, the first Monday of the New Year. It feels–if you’ll allow it–so much like the Mondays of yesteryear…

New Year’s Resolution: Learn hands.

No matter how many cups of coffee are imbibed, or extra hours spent sobbing in the shower, the dim demands of a new workweek have extended their reach to us. We must traverse the corridor of capitalism once more.

“Nope… back to the shower.”

Our reflexes are slow, our minds sluggish, and our expressions are frozen “Oh Noez!” of torpid terror.

“Oh, yez!”

The Merry-Go-Round of this modern life is punctuated with Monday’s bog of banality. But, with a little creepy and threatening encouragement we can surmount anything…

“Good talk…”

A touch of positive reinforcement never hurt either, so here’s a wizened little dog mixing a martini for you. Should be ready about the time you get back home.

Go to your Happy Place.

Gifs via: here, here, here, here, and here

Happy New Year!!!

As unbelievable as it may seem, 2013 is coming to a close.

Next up:

“Damn! Just lost my wifi signal…”

And while time flies when you’re having fun, it started charging extra for baggage. Why, it seems like just yesterday when mix-tapes were actually on… tapes.

“Cool Nintendo cartridges, brah.”

And the future was brimming with possibility!

Introducing the iPhone 0.001

But we are a resilient bunch. Several billion bits of binary code have permeated our eyes and ears via the internet, showering us with good humor and merriment. The other several billion… Continue reading

Monday Miasma # 15

Hark! I hear an angel sing! Wait… Nope. Not an angel. That was the “Harp” alarm setting on my phone. That’s right…

It’s Monday.

Time for my morning commute… into oblivion.

On this last Monday of 2013, we reluctantly arise, donning the bifocals of the bizarre and peering past the mundane into a familiar world populated by strangers.

“We’re ready for launch, Commander.”

Though the slight to our dignity and self worth is relatively meager, the cumulative effect of a lifetime of Monday mornings can be deadly. This is why we invite you to join us in the transmutation of tedium, where memes really do come true.

There’s a party in my nightmare and errybody’s invited!

So refresh your cup of coffee and plunge wholeheartedly into it, finding solace in its caffeinated inner-cosmos.

Do you take the red pill, or the sugar cubes?

Together, along with the intercession of the internets, we can transform this raw, bitter brew of toilsome tonic into something altogether ambrosial. Or… some approximation thereof.

Close enough!

Here’s to the swift passage of Monday!

Gifs via: here, here, here, and here

Merry Christmas from Comedy So Serious!

Happy holidays from all of us at Comedy So Serious!

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“They’ll never suspect a thing…”

The Christmas season is a time for family, giving, and love, which is why we’ve been drinking mimosas since 7am this morning. We wanted to thank you, the reader, for your continued interest in our modest operation.

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What happens at the North Pole, stays at the North Pole.

As tradition dictates, Santa has emerged from his arctic clam to bestow gifts on the masses. Hopefully you’ve received your heart’s desires. If not…

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Futilely, Santa claws…

Just a suggestion.

Have a lovely Christmas day, and a happy, healthy New Year!

Images via: here, here, and here.

Comedy So Christmas!

Ladies and gentlemen, readers, skimmers, and browsers alike…

Welcome to Comedy So Serious!’s Christmas Spectacular!!!

All I want for Christmas is the pain to stop.

“Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the towns, children were winked at, responding with frowns.”

PedoClause!!!

“Such stockings were so hang, much stuffed with much gift. Very excitement. Such spirit, so lift.”

Rudolph the Wet Nosed Dogge

“When, suddenly, a sound rang out with such force, jarring and startling us from slumber’s sweet course. We rushed to the window, and what did we see? Jolly Saint Nick giving a kick to his steed!” Continue reading